Hello March... You came so fast. It's been months since I graduated from the MT program. It's been months since the last time I went home. It's been months since I cried for the same damn things!
But this is exactly the month I should waiting for.. Performance Bonus!! Yeayyy!!
It was just another late night conversation with my old friend -yes, i am a night person, not in the kind of 'a club hopper or social climber who walked out the door in the late night and back in after 2 AM', but just in the kind of 'i seriously couldn't force my eyes off early'.-
We had a small talk via blackberry messenger. Until he asked me whether i would come home in the next long weekend or not..
Gw : hmm... kayaknya sih engga. Dia : kenapa? Gw : ya gapapa, lagi males pulang aja, lagi seneng jalan-jalan disini.. Dia : ooo.. emg ga kangen rumah? Gw : ya kangen sih, tapi kan tahun baru kmrn jg baru pulang Dia : tp pasti nyokap lo kangen.. Gw : *diem*
i didn't reply the last bbm. i envy most of my friends whose have family living at bandung. since jkt-bdg could be reached within 2 hours drivin' and only cost IDR140k return, they can easily coming back home in every weekend..
my blackberry was vibrate, followed by the blink of its red light. i grabbed it. i saw in my blackberry screen, he sent me a poem..
seorang wanita hijrah ke suatu tempat mencari jati diri, mengejar mimpi tidak terasa keadaan semakin larut bersamanya sendiri mengejar waktu memastikan diri berputar mengikuti arah jarum jam ingar bingar ibukota sejenak melupakan tanah kelahirannya tempat dimana ia tumbuh besar menulis, merangkai diri di genggaman orang tua gadis itu tersenyum dalam langkahnya menangis di atas pendiriannya berharap waktu datang mewujudkan mimpinya
i couldn't say a word, i'm contemplating and questioning myself. do i such an egoist daughter? not coming back home in my long weekend, prefer to be here than home. do i miss home?
such an idiot, no need to question it, OF COURSE i miss home.. i just kinda like a little girl who was busy playing her barbie, i need my own time to do the things i like.. but surely i'll comin back home soon..
22.01.2011. me and my friends were in the middle of the crowd of 'Ne-Yo Jakarta Live in Concert' at Tenis Indoor Senayan stood for almost one and a half hours in the queue, before finally entering the venue sang out loud with other audience during the performance yelled at the girl who smoke in front of us, it was not a smoking area, bit*h!! drank a damn expensive mineral water and sadly, one of the best Ne-Yo's single which i love the most, was not performed at that concert Never Knew I Needed
For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I have Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing, oh yeah
For the ending of my first begin (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah) And for the rare and unexpected friend (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah) For the way you're something that I'd never choose But at the same time, something I don't wanna lose And never wanna be without ever again
You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear, I need you here always
My accidental happily (Ever after) The way you smile and how you comfort me (With your laughter) I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter
You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea (When you were here) You the best thing I never knew I needed (That I needed) So now it's so clear, I need you here always (Now it's so clear)
Who knew that I could be (Who knew that I could be) So unexpectedly (So unexpectedly) Undeniably happier Sitting with you right here, right here next to me Girl, you're the best
You're the best thing I never knew I needed (Said I needed) So when you were here I had no idea (When you were here) (Said I had no idea) You're the best thing I never knew I needed (That I needed) So now it's so clear I need you here always (Now it's so clear) (So clear, so clear, I need you always)
love /lAv/. strong liking or affection. strong affection and sexual attraction. -oxford dictionary-
For the last couple years i dedicated my love only for family.friend.work.mylife.and myself.
Have no boyfriend doesn't mean u couldn't be loved, right? *wink*. But yeah, honestly, it's kinda weird when u finds urself as a single but one of ur closest friend is just in her pregnancy. When all the thought in ur mind is just hangin' here and there but ur friend is starting to find a recommended doctor for her new baby's coming.
why does everyone seem very easy to find their love?! while i'm still seeking for mine.
Looking back to my age -which i consider it as 'still young, no need to rushed by the marriage things'- my mom asked me to have one, one person i loved, hoho... promise u i will, mom ;)
But i don't know, i can't even explain to myself, for me, fallin in love is damn hard! and once i had completely fallen, sometimes it's damn hurt! so, i just wanna play safe, covering my heart with the invisible wall, and running away when i thought the feeling wasn't there..
